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July 18, 2005
Sedated
Read the first two chapters of the book “When God Doesn’t Answer Your Prayer” before turning in last evening. Thanks to the church campaign which required us to develop a reading habit because of the emphasis on the hugely popular book “Purpose Driven Life”, unknowingly I had eased myself into a reading habit. Before the campaign, I read only articles and blogs on the Internet. Not healthy, I know.
The title of the book was good enough for me to fork out money for it, and after reading it last evening, it sounded really promising for me. There are way too many of those self-help books which proliferate the shelves these days and as much as we know someone out there has found his or her own formula to get rich, be successful or breeze up the corporate ladder, there seems to be a dearth in books which attempt to go right into the root of a long-standing problem. After reading the chapters, I knew that no matter what the direction of the book, be it working its way to reasons for unanswered prayers or ending with an anti-climax of sorts (I got this feeling after reading 40 chapters of the Purpose Driven Life), I was grateful for it just because it took the words out of my mouth with regards to expressing the desperation of prayers which seemed unanswered by God, despite all the numerous promises I know of in the Bible.
What I particularly was heartened to was the fact that the author described the numerous responses he received because he was wondering why his wife, daughter and mother were killed in a car accident when that very morning, he was praying for their safety, like any other morning before that. These were the same responses I got from people who at least bothered enough to volunteer themselves as sounding boards. I do not hold a grudge against them for responding the way they did. In fact, I was grateful for their listening ears. Yet, the things they said to justify the many unanswered prayers of mine only served to drive the spike deeper into my soul.
I will probably be reading this book in earnest for the next few days. Perhaps at the end of it I would be disappointed by its anti-climatic conclusion, or I would be considerably enlightened by the author’s theories of why we have unanswered prayers.
***
Every morning a sense of dread envelopes me when I stride into my cubicle at work. Not that it is something new, but in the light of comments from a friend who was so disillusioned with her current vocation and expressed her desire to quit three months into her probation, I wondered to myself how much I had it within me to continue to hold out for a new job, while putting up with the dread every morning and the disappointment from many job applications sent out without any positive reply.
***
The way we count our time on earth can be indications of how we see our lives. Some people count it by the number of years (i.e., the number of years till I retire or earn my first million). Some use months (i.e., the number of months to my wedding). Some prefer days (i.e., the number of days till I end my tenure in this particular organisation).
No prizes for guessing which way I have chosen.
***
Linkworthy
(a) New York Medicaid Fraud May Reach Into Billions
A health care program for the poorest New Yorkers has become a $44.5 billion target for the unscrupulous and the opportunistic.
And we thought the recent hoo-ha was bad enough...
(b) An Empty Apology
How the racial card was played in American politics.
Yeah, try telling that to our employers...
Posted by D W at July 18, 2005 10:29 AM