Reason To Write

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Another quiet and lonesome weekend just flew past me. It was supposed to be a time when people spent time with their families and stuff like that. For my family, most of them were out by noon, leaving me staring at the computer and spending loads of time with myself, as if I had not for the longest of time.

For this week, another quiet one awaits. For starters, the fact that I would be sleeping in a cold room with all those cold equipment by my side is freaking me out a little. Maybe I should not have done this. Then again, if I were to live my life all over again, there would be many things I would want to change.

I feel passionless right now. I feel nothing about many things in my life. I feel as though many things are in danger of fading out altogether. I feel that slowly I am losing the things I should never lose. I feel less like a human being these days. I feel like I am just going with the flow. I feel like I am living a life with no positive emotions, no dreams, no love and maybe, no life.

Those thoughts about how things would be better in a parallel universe are slowly fading away. I no longer feel compelled to believe that they can exist. Things like a good job with good career prospects, a loving and communicative family, and other aspects of life which we all strive for, are now nothing but a pipe dream.

When I want to talk, no one is there.

When I want to dream, my disbelief in their fulfillment stops me.

When I want to love, I feel nothing.

Everyday lives like a life seeped in misery.

The day when I stop believing in miracles will be the day I give up living.