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May 19, 2005
Bigotry first, Money last
Discuss Disgust (Part 2)
After browsing a bit on the Internet, I got the feeling that bigotry could be subconsciously big. And it was really interesting how the thought behind the stuff some people wrote were, more or less, the very things they were gnashing their teeth and clenching their fists to when their presence (or collective voice) was significantly smaller.
It is also interesting to note how people can be so quick to allow themselves to slip into polarisation (the best example being a certain very important bloke who mouthed off the words “either you are for us or against us” on live telly about 4 years back). Are we that incapable of sieving out the good from the criticism (constructive or otherwise), be gracious or even humourous about the whole thing and move on? Or must we defend our behaviour and actions the very moment the criticism lands on us, failing which we go under the belt? Is there no space or place for differing views, even for the most trivial of things like which hawker’s cha kway teow is tastier (not even talking about the less infantile stuff)?
There are reasons why they are not funny anymore. They might have turned into the very things they hated when they first started out.
Can’t say I am not disgusted.
***
An (Boring) Account of A Date
I went on a date last night, with myself, since I have withdrawn myself so much that calling people up and (at times) begging for a companion is an exercise in futility. It feels somewhat comforting and surreal at the same time spending so much time with myself, when for almost the entire day, I was the only person whom I interacted the most. Except for the lunch break, I would mostly keep to myself in my work cell, venturing out only when my kettle ran out of water or the bladder started to throw some tantrums.
Millenia Walk was my destination for the night. It was borne out of my craving for honey macademia nuts and moreover, I could stop over at that Irish sandwich bar for a dinner treat of a triple decker. It was drizzling a bit when I walked out of the office. Perfect setting for a moody end to an uneventful day, perhaps. Holding onto my white brollie and sheltering my clothes (I would care less about my body being drenched in rainwater), I slowly made my way to the bus stop. I had my MD, which contained Christian praise and worship songs, on and it was uplifting music accompaniment for the 15-minute walk under the brollie and in the drizzle. Being a bit less conscious, I even mouthed off some of the words from the songs.
The bus worked its way through the peak hour traffic in Shenton Way and the City Hall area. Looking out from the bus window, I peeked at the people in cars – there were well-dressed men in immaculate office wear and ties, well-dressed and made-up women in immaculate jackets and skirts, middle-aged men in their polos and slacks, middle-aged women in their casual wear and the odd yuppie in the souped-up sports car. Sometimes, I wonder to myself what the lives of these people were like. The well-dressed man could be looking forward to meeting his beautiful fiancé at the end of a long work day. The well-dressed woman could be thinking about meeting up with her mates for dinner at some upmarket restaurant. The middle-aged man could be running through a mental list of wines / beers he would order later when he met up with his drinking kakis, while the tai-tai could be relishing the opportunity of doing some window shopping. The yuppie in the souped-up sports car could be smiling to himself when envisaging the look on his girlfriend’s face as his car pulled up at some busy junction when picking her up (this, of course, is not exactly priceless).
While I have to contend with being inside an almost empty air-conditioned bus, carrying an outdated version of a Espirit bag and an un-colour-co-ordinated white brollie, obese with a prominent triple-chin and thinking about eating all by myself for dinner…
I alighted and made a beeline for the shop which should sell honey macadamias. The mall was relatively quiet, as compared to the hustle and bustle of the nearby Suntec City. Made my way into the shop and after scrutinizing the shelves for about ten minutes, I was disappointed that they ran out of what I came for. They did not even sell sugar-free Polo sweets, which I thought they would, since they imported quite a fair bit of stuff from Australia. What they had in abundance though, were chocolates and I was never a chocolate addict to begin with (fondue’s a different thing altogether).
Frowning a little, I picked up two packets of honey cashews (which were the next best things after macadamias) and two packets of honey peanuts and made the purchases before I headed for the sandwich bar. Granted the bread at Subway would be much cheaper and smaller, in terms of serving size, but since I was already there, I might as well settle my meal once and for all.
Got my triple-decker sandwich (which had mashed chicken meat, bacon slices, loads of lettuce, coleslaw, onions, cheese and tomatoes as fillings in between three slices of toasted wholemeal bread) and some fructose-sweetened Green tea drink before settling down a bit to munch and flip through a footy mag. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to over dinner, but well, a beggar certainly should not be a chooser.
What followed this was a long walk to the Peninsula Plaza bus stop, via Suntec City and CityLink. Made a stop at that CD supermart which I thought would be well-stocked with CDs of British musicians (since the mart had British roots, His Majesty’s Voice, you know?) and was disappointed when the counter lady informed me that they did not carry any albums by the Inspiral Carpets. So, perspiring a little, I slowly edged my way to the bus stop, while, at the same time, ogling at pretty lasses along the way and envying youngish couples who were not too bashful about making their delight in physical intimacy known to strangers around them (conservative society mah…).
That was how my date with myself on a Wednesday evening turned out.
***
The Music Front
In other news, a hole would be burnt in my pocket (all thanks to the wonderful invention called “credit”). It is interesting to note that with a matter of a few clicks, you throw away (in some cases, literally) a few hundred bucks of your hard earned money. Internet shopping is a bloody drain and bane on my savings, I tell you! Then again, being frugal has to be a virtue, especially when you have internet access and you want to pretend you just received your bonuses.
Anyway, the amount I would be spending to get that all-elusive Inspiral Carpets album will send shockwaves into my system when I see the bill. I hope this will be balanced up when the cool tunes of the band reach my ears. Let’s see, 30-odd tracks on that piece of metal. This works out to SGD$2 per track (including shipping charges).
I am glad I still have that big can of oats stashed somewhere. Beats having to eat grass for every meal…
Posted by D W at May 19, 2005 03:13 PM
Comments
maybe if you stop growing the envy by looking in from the outside.
don't judge books by their covers!
Posted by: fhope at May 20, 2005 12:04 AM
You are right... perhaps I was being envious...
Posted by: D W at May 20, 2005 01:03 AM
instead of amazon.com you could try djangos.com for CD's and DVD's. i get my 2nd hand stuff from there too. (but sometimes hard to get!)
Posted by: a l at May 20, 2005 04:59 PM